her vagine was all disorganized.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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