we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize