remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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