I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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