"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize