Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize