well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize