I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize