Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize