pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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