I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He? As in you personified your dick?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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