I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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