oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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