My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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