I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I need water and some morals
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