The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize