I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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