Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
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It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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