if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize