He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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