he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize