farters have to be the big spoon...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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