Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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