The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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