just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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