So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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