Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize