Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My bed smells like the plague
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize