One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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