He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize