sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize