I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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