i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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