Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize