Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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