Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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