moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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