Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize