11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize