Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i believe in u and ur pee
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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