I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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