gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize