I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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