im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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