you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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