ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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