i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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