Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize