found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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