the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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